My breastfeeding journey.

Breastfeeding is hard work!!!

Seriously.

Whoever said breastfeeding is easy... well... pfft! It's sOooo NOT!

I'm pretty sure every mum has their story to tell. The good, the bad, the happy and the sad moments...... oh the madness of it all!!!

Ok so here's my story.

I pretty much decided right from the start that I would breastfeed Sarah from day one. As much as I can. As long as possible. Well, at least till she starts weaning.

Which mum wouldn't want to breastfeed their baby right? What with all the benefits for both baby and mummy. The Internet is full of information on how good breastfeeding is. Just google it! (Google is my best friend. Hehe.)

So.

Breastfeeding Sarah.

I kind of already knew from hearing all these stories from recently "promoted" mama girlfriends how much work would be involved if breastfeeding, but i never knew just how much until having experienced it myself these past 8 weeks.

I was prepared to read up on some basic breastfeeding information in oh... the later part of my pregnancy, but what i didn't plan on was having to "cut short" that time by a good 4 weeks and deliver Baby Girl much earlier than planned. So i basically did NOT complete my readings :p The hubs and i had also not gone for any antenatal/ lactation classes prior.

Sigh.

Needless to say, the first 2-3 weeks was madness as i started with the breastfeeding and we seemed to encounter challenges, one after another.

One of my earliest challenges breastfeeding was the lack of support at home. I say "was" because with alot of education (crash course in breastfeeding 101. hurhurhur.) the folks now sing a different tune about nursing Sarah :p

While hubs has been as steady as a rock, supporting me all this time, it took quite a bit of effort to convince the parents that i could breastfeed and that it was best for Baby and me.

They meant well, i know, but their comments of "not enough milk", "the baby is (still) hungry", "why is the baby's poo yellow/mustard-y and watery... is the milk not clean enough", "maybe baby doesn't like breastmilk" didn't help at all in the first few weeks when Sarah and me were both learning to get used to this whole breastfeeding thing.

She was hungry and sleepy and just wanted to get fed quickly... i was tired and frustrated and trying to get the hang of the whole "latch on correctly" thing.

To make things worst, she was so tiny when born. Under 2kg when we brought her home. I was worried sick wondering if what my parents said were true.

Thank God she started gaining some weight and with some explaining from her PD to my parents on how breastmilk is digested more quickly and how baby's poo should look like if breastfed etc, and with, like i said, a whole lot of education on its' benefits, they are now very supportive and in fact, mum automatically brings the little one to me when she cries and says, "Feed her. Feed her more of your milk so she grows up big and strong quickly."

Plus, she realised there's no need for all that washing and sterilising of milk bottles if i don't express :p

I also had no idea just how tired i could get from the lack of sleep, having to get up almost every other hour to nurse the Baby! Right from the start my back started aching so sOOOooooo bad. I've probably permanently damaged that left shoulder/back :(

On a few occassions, i very nearly fell asleep nursing her at 4am. Serious.

Then there are all the other "problems" that can come with breastfeeding. The cracked/sore nipples, the blocked milk ducts, etc etc etc.

For some reason, Baby Girl really doesn't like my right boob :( She started rejecting the right and only wanted to latch on to the left. Me, silly me... i thought, fine. You want the left i'll give you the left. As long as you get your fill. I didn't think to start expressing out from the right! And within days, the right started drying up. When Sarah's appetite starts to increase (and it is increasing every week!), my left alone isn't going to be enough right??? Argh! How dumb can i get, you wonder?

Now i'm on a course of domperidone, as prescribed by Dr. Tracey. Hopefully we can build up my milk supply again.

Plus, i've started expressing more regularly. Cos i just realised i'm halfway through my maternity leave and once i return to work, Sarah will need to be bottle-fed my milk during the day by mum. I have to start building up that supply of frozen breastmilk. That also means even less sleep!! After she's had her fill, i have to go express what's left!

Gawd the times i've cried in the last few weeks. Out of sheer frustration.

Having said this all, while it has been tough, being able to breastfeed Sarah is indeed rewarding.

Especially so when she's had her fill and falls back away from my breast, with a huge toothless, gummy grin on her face and milk dripping down her baby chin :)

- no milk dripping :p but here she is, falling asleep at my breast after having had her fill -

Mad love.